Ennui…
I don’t know how many of you read Lisa’s blog over at Black Sheep, but she posts a new word and definition each week on Wednesdays. I started reading her because she will be attending the Estes Park Wool Market (follow that link and leave a comment if you are going and you haven’t done so yet). This week she chose a word that pops up frequently in the knitblog circle it seems…ennui. At the end of yesterday’s post she posed a question asking what causes ennui for each of us and how do we overcome it?
I’m not positive that my current feelings can quite be described by the dictionary definition of ennui — a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction: boredom. I am dissatisfied and a bit weary, but it isn’t resulting in boredom per se. It is more of a feeling of inaudequacy; an inability to accomplish all that I would like which leads me to not doing much of anything. In this case it isn’t so much not being able to do so because of skill or knowledge, but rather that I have sooo many projects I’d like to undertake that I can’t choose where to start.
I have actually started a new summer sock design that I think is really cute, but it is a bit piddly and some of the techniques it requires can be a bit rough on my hands and with this week being my week of higher proneness for muscle spasms and all around pain it just isn’t really the time to work on it. I really want to give one of the MDK linen hand towels a try (and even have hank of the linen on hand), I’d also like to try my hand at the MDK rag since the standard knit washrag pattern of the family doesn’t stand up to DH’s standards
(which I kind of agree with actually). Also, thanks to the kindness of Snow, I have a skein of Red Bird Knits Lace Silk (in the Paris colorway I’m told) and a Diamond Fantasy Shawl pattern sitting on my ottoman taunting me. I’ve loved the Diamond Fantasy Shawl pattern long before I ever started knitting lace. The geometric nature of the design just really appeals to me. But, I also know the new IK should show up in the mailbox anytime now and I have that gorgeous Fino yarn I got for my birthday that is the same brand and same size hank as required for Mim’s gorgeous Icarus shawl so I kind of won’t want to cast on for DFS, yet I’ve nearly pulled out the required needles at least a dozen times yesterday. I also have the nautical baby hat to finish, but for whatever reason it isn’t pulling at me.
The Weavette I also got for my birthday is kind of taunting me as well. Then, my water aerobics instructor has lent me her Inkle loom and I have the proper cotton to go ahead and warp it and start weaving on it. I want to, yet I don’t want to. I’m afraid I’ll be sucked into yet another hobby. Plus, her Inkle loom is a two-sided one so the process of warping it has to be a PITA.
Then there is of course the spinning. I spun half of one of the colorways of BFL I dyed last month. It’s gorgeous and should be a slightly heavy laceweight when plied. I really want to spin the rest of it. I really *should* spin the rest of it. Yet, I haven’t. I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps because I moved the wheel out of position while mom was here so there wouldn’t be any blind woman or big dog incidents with it. But, out of position means it’s two feet to my left agains the wall under the window and the ottoman is right in front of me. We’re not talking that it is shoved away in a closet somewhere. Since I’ve fallen hugely behind on my television shows perhaps I should set up in the basement again. It will be getting too hot sometime semi-soon for me to be comfortable spinning up in the living room…
Last, but not least is the guilt I feel when taking time during the day to knit or spin or weave this week when I should be scrubbing the bathroom and dusting and washing floors. But, it’s been raining which is great as we need the moisture, but it means dirty, muddy puppy paws several times a day. My normal inclination is to let the mud build up by the patio door until the weather dries up and then mop it, but I can’t really do that with K&M arriving tomorrow afternoon sometime.
So, I have a case of something. I’m not sure ennui is quite the right description, perhaps it is better described as overwhelmed by possibilities… Or perhaps just PMS. But, whatever it is, it sucks!
I think today I’ll stick to researching podcasting inbetween bursts of cleaning and baking (banana bread and hopefully chocolate chip cookies as I’ve been craving them terribly lately and we all know what happens when you deny that which you crave…).
