Fiber Fool

Here it is, hours before dawn and I haven’t had a wink of sleep. That has been the status quo this past week and a half or so. I’ve only recently given into getting up and trying to distract myself with television in hopes that it occupies my mind enough that I can fall asleep. I will apologize in advance for the photo-less post. If you need photos, check out Friday’s post below. If you wish to read me wax philosophically and whine continue…

I’ve had a fair bit of ennui lately. Or at least that seems to be the best explanation of it. It isn’t exactly boredom. I’m not lacking for things to do. It is quite the opposite really. But as I’ve established before, a plethora of things to do is a sure fire way to bring on the ennui and shut down my energy. This time of year one would think it is all the cause of the hectic holiday. This is often especially true for those of us who are of the crafty persuasion and tend to get involved in making things for the holidays.

In all fairness, holiday handiwork is certainly a partial factor in my overflowing list of things to do. Yes, I am making a skirt for my sister for Christmas, but guess what? It is done. 100%! Coordinating top options and even an eerily coordinating necklace has been procured for my mom and dad to give her so she is sure to have a full outfit. I’m making a bag keeper for my mom. I haven’t started that other than to wash and press the fabric, but the design is conceived and I just need to take some measurements and it should come together rather quickly. Sure, it could go a bit faster if I had a nice clear quilter’s ruler, but I’ll be able to manage the design and it should be met with much praise since mom specifically requested it.

One of the gals at SnB two weeks ago commented about maybe not making my sister’s skirt. She asked, but how much other stuff are you making? I replied with a firm “Nothing!” having conveniently forgotten for a brief second about my mom’s bag keeper. But, somehow in these past two weeks my list of holiday things to do has grown by leaps and bounds.

I think I can blame part of this exponential growth in projects on the company I’ve been keeping. Last week I spent nearly everyday with a very enthusiastic and creative individual and it tends to be highly contagious. At least until you are no longer in her presence for more than 24 hours.

My mom’s suggestion of getting photo stamps from my leaf photos for my grandmother suddenly turned into a the idea of an entire coordinating stationary set with coordinating stamps. That was fine, but then it also morphed into making a quilted folder to hold everything!

Then, I was reminded of the lavender sachets I was going to make as gift tie-ons from weavette squares. Then I remembered that I owed our friends some in exchange for all the dried lavender they provided me with for the filling. It won’t take that long really, but again I don’t have the best set up for cutting out all those squares of muslin for inside of the weavette squares.

There is also the three out of four curtain panels I really need to finish for the dining room. I know it doesn’t *have* to be completed before Christmas, but wouldn’t the Christmas decorations look better with curtains hanging in our dining room rather than old flannel sheets? And, with the possibility of my sister accompanying us back to Colorado for a few days of visiting has me wanting them done a bit more.

Speaking of Christmas decorations, I haven’t decorated. I haven’t removed one Dicken’s Village piece from its box. I haven’t plugged in one string of lights. Nothing. Nada. Normally, I’m all decorated the day after Thanksgiving. This year? No motivation to decorate whatsoever. Don’t know why. Maybe it is because our grass is still tinged green? Perhaps it is the slightly warmer temps than normal? Maybe it is because there is no scheduled entertaining of friends this holiday season? Last year I had the holiday knitting tea to prepare for. The year before that we were hosting DH’s family at our house for Christmas day.

I’m actually ecstatic for Christmas. I’ll be celebrating with my family in Minnesota for the first time since 1999! While working on the final touches of my sister’s skirt I kept doing a little happy dance because I can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions when they open the gifts. I haven’t had that in so long! And, this year I decide to scale back on the handmade gifts? That seems kind of dumb…

Also on the list? The dreaded holiday letter! We haven’t done the Christmas card thing in two years. But, this year will be a bit harder to accomplish because with the great hard drive crash of March 2006 I lost all my addresses. A few are retrievable from saved envelopes from last year and of course other family members will be able to fill out the family addresses, but it is still going to be a bit of extra work.

My own greed doesn’t help the situation either. I really want to finish my skirt in the style of my sister’s. Ultimately I’d snap my fingers and it would be done so I could wear it. It is, however, going to require a lot more embroidery than Amber’s did and actually necessitated my checking books out from the library. I’m excited about the final product, but am scared to actually jump in and cut out the design and iron it on. I don’t know if I’m not getting over that little road block because I’m afraid of my rusty embroidery skills or the large amount of embroidery that is going to be required or what. Then there is the skirt I’d like to get made for any holiday gatherings we need to attend. It’ll be my first zipper so that has me a little nervous and there is the quirk that I don’t like to change out the thread and bobbin on the sewing machine until a project is done. Though in writing that sentence I realize that there is zero machine sewing remaining for my funky skirt. So, aside from the zipper, the holiday skirt should go together in only a couple of hours. Hmm…

Also, since I finished my knee highs I haven’t knit a stitch. I wanted terribly to design a sock for possible use in Sock Madness, but was kind of blocked for what to do. I think I finally know and have been fairly settled on it for the last couple of days but I haven’t gotten past balling the intended yarn. Now, I know the procrastination until this weekend was due to not feeling confident about my design idea and how the selected stitches would work together. I’m pretty sure it is good now. Or I won’t know if it is good until I actually bother to cast-on. Plus, because I’ve been on a budget and have been drooling over Scout’s yarn since she first started dyeing her yarn I really want to make the early submission date of the 15th of December so I might stand a chance of getting to try some of her yarn.

It seems my biggest hurdles are my own expectations. The dining room curtains, the sachets (there is no need to have package tie-ons and sachets might make a nice birthday token and be spread out through the year that way), the sock design, two skirts for me, not to mention all the baked stuff I’d like to take back to Minnesota to share with the family. But, really what happens if those things don’t get done? They don’t get done and that would be about it. The sky isn’t going to fall, my family isn’t going to stop loving me because I didn’t get the pepperkakor, and the rosettes, and the lefse all made. So what if I don’t get my skirts done before Christmas? Yes, the one fabric is pretty much destined to be holiday only, but it’ll be here next year and still look great and I can sew a skirt to whatever size I happen to be then. It might even look better because presumably I’ll put a zipper in a skirt before next year’s holiday season. Of course it does cause a slight problem in figuring out what I’ll wear to Christmas at my sisters, but it isn’t one that is unsolvable. Grandma and Grandpa got handmade gifts last year so there is no real need to do so this year. Yes, it would be nice to see them open a stunning handmade gift, but not required.

All of this rambling is to say that my own unrealistic and unnecessary expectations seem to have given me a high dose of ennui and insomnia. I’m guessing the PMS that has been creeping over me in the past four days or so is not helping the situation either.

Clearly the place to start is to get cast-on for the sock so I can take advantage of on-the-go stolen moments to work on it as I can. I may also wish to rethink my original plan of knitting them at the same time in favor of completing one for photography quicker than completing too. The next step is to buckle down and finish mom’s bag keeper. Then, I should get the fabric cut and ironed onto my skirt so I can take breaks from the sock knitting and do some embroidery as the mood strikes. In there I should kick out the first draft of the Christmas letter and pass it off to DH for editing and tweaking (we already brainstormed on what should be included). I should let go of the curtains, and I should prioritize the baked goods I wish to take. I should probably try to let go of the holiday skirt too, though if it really only takes a couple of hours I could leave myself open to sudden inspiration to make it. It is hard to let go because I do have a couple of top options that go well with it and fit me now.

This all makes so much sense, but can I really let go of those things that should be let go of? What about the holiday season makes me want to be an overachiever who doesn’t sleep for six weeks? Gaaaahhhhhhhh!